by Fred
Warren -
He was
conscious, though he lacked objective evidence that this was the case. No
light, no sensation of heat, cold, pain, or pressure on or within his skin. No odors,
either pleasant or offensive. No lingering flavors within his mouth, not the
faintest whisper to stir his eardrums to life.
If his
heart was beating, he could neither feel nor hear his pulse.
Am I dead?
He was
thinking, at least. That he was able to methodically catalogue the utter
absence of any sensory feedback bore witness to cognition, if only via a slow
and feeble synaptic spark.
There was
memory, too. He had an identity: John
Milton, resident of Avenir, businessman. Wait…that wasn’t quite true. He’d
abandoned that life for something else, something new, something…no, someone…
Anya.
The
Dreamers. That was it. He was being wired into the virtual reality inhabited by
the Dreamers. He’d taken the long, spiraling journey into the heart of the
Avenir station, where he was led into a brilliant white space. He’d disrobed
and entered a life-support pod, there was a sharp sting, and the light faded
into nothingness. Until now.
Something
was wrong. Anya said he’d awaken into a world both vivid and boundless, as
subjectively real as the mundane, sterile, hopeless environment of Avenir, but
so much more. So much better.
Myriad
horrifying possibilities began scampering about his mind, pursued by a fear
that ever-so-slowly took form—lithe, feline, and clawed—from somewhere deep
within his imagination. It crouched and bristled, ready to pounce. What it ensnared would become real.
He needed
to take a deep breath, steady himself.
He
couldn’t expand his chest to pull in a fresh lungful of air. He couldn’t even
tell if he had a chest or lungs to
fill with air. He was drowning in a viscous soup of nothingness.
He
screamed, soundlessly. Again and again and again.
A wave of
calm spread over him then, for no particular reason and from no perceptible
direction. It didn’t matter so much anymore that he couldn’t feel himself
breathing. Something tickled inside where his head ought to be. Something
familiar…
“What’s
the matter? What does that alarm mean?”
“His
heart and respiratory rates were spiking. I gave the big baby a shot of
sedative to settle him down until I’m ready to activate his neural net.”
“It’s
been a long time since anyone’s tried to plug an adult into our network,
Victoria. A panic attack isn’t an unreasonable reaction to sensory
deprivation.”
“It
should feel restful, like floating inside a cloud.”
“That’s
easy to say. You were integrated as an infant, so you can’t imagine how it must
feel to someone who’s lived his entire life outside virtuality.”
“I
remember exactly what it feels like. I loved it. In fact, I was really upset
when they brought me online and I had to deal with all that noise and confusion
again.”
“How
could you possibly…”
“Did you
forget who you’re talking with here? I’m precocious.
Okay, all the connections are in place, self-check complete, statuses green.
Time to light him up. I’ll engage the cycle extra-slow so we don’t kill him
with sensory overload.”
“How
thoughtful.”
“Yeah, he
may be a whiny baby, but he’s the most interesting thing to happen in Paradise
for the past five Foundings. There’s one thing I don’t get, though.”
“What’s
that?”
“Why did
you bring him in? I mean, he’s smart
and devious and all that, but there are plenty of colonists who are more
tech-savvy, and I would’ve expected you to find some kind of electronics wizard
to take over Communications.”
“It’s…well,
it’s complicated. I wanted someone who could hold his own with Aziz and the
others, someone who understands the social and political dynamics of both Avenir
and Eclectia. Well-rounded. Someone like that.”
“Then why
not a politician? Admit it, Miss Sherikov, you’re sweet on this clodhopper. You
know I’m going to find a cure for you, so you’re planning ahead. You want a boyyyfriend.
You looove him. You want to…”
“I want…nothing of the sort. You’re being
ridiculous. I suggest you refrain from further speculation on my motives, and
stay focused on the task at hand. How much longer until he begins to regain
sensation?”
“Oh, he’s
been able to hear us for about three minutes or so.”
“He…what?
Victoria Remsen, you little laska!
I’m going to deactivate your sensory
inputs, permanently!”
“Take it
easy. Maybe he won’t remember. Or, maybe he will.”
“Victoria!”
“Hee,
hee… Moving on to the sense of touch.”